We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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