Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think I sprained my soul last night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
