I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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