just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
