I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
