I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize