Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
