I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize