I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
