Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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