Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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