i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
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She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize