If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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