he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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