so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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