I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
