The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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