so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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