I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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