No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
