At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
