Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
