____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
