this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
