I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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