yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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