last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
