his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize