People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize