We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
