So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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