I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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