Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
