He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
