Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
