we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
