You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
