Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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