didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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