I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
did i walk over a car last night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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