just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
