we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
