Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I deserve this hangover.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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