if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
