i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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