Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
