Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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