I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
