All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
