who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
