Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
where am i from again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Randomize
