I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
