We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
