know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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