he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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