Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize