I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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