Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
