Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
