She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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