she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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