The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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